Physical attraction attachment styles and dating development
It works this way because we are connected to our partner on both a psychological and a physiological level.Our attachment circuitry (the wiring in our brain that ensures we remain connected to our loved ones) is linked to our autonomic nervous system—the system that governs our breathing, sleep, hunger, heart rate, blood pressure and other functions that are outside of our control.If you’re single and looking for the right partner, this information can set you on the right track from the very get go since you can learn how to figure out a potential partner’s attachment style early on and find the right match.But, importantly, it is also useful for those who are already in a “mismatched” relationship because we can learn to become more secure.It’s amazing what a feel-good effect it can have on us.When we’re sick or in pain and our partner holds our hand or hugs us, it literally takes the pain away.That’s what I’m looking for in a relationship.” The response will speak volumes as to your partner’s ability to address your needs now and in the future.Think about it: if you were interviewing people to fill in a position at work, would you ask indirect questions and avoid asking crucial ones just so they will take the job?
So, yes, if you’re secure and dating someone anxious or avoidant, you have a good chance of “changing” them.Does he or she have a history of not being able to maintain a long-term relationship? Research shows that one in four people will change their attachment style over a four-year period.People usually say everything about themselves early on—you just need to know what to listen for and keep your eyes open. Change occurs mostly when you get into a relationship that really shakes your beliefs about love.In this case, you’ll need to work together to get on track.
It takes two for this particular tango so make sure your partner wants to change.
If we’re in a good relationship, we experience a calm security like no other.